The Philosopher

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LovelyLadyLux
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The Philosopher

Post by LovelyLadyLux » Tue Sep 10, 2019 11:07 pm

I read that 4,153,237 people got married last year. Not to cause any trouble, but shouldn’t that be an even number?

♦ Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

♦ I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.


♦ When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body... men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.

♦ A recent study has found that woman who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

♦ Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?

♦ America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote.


♦ You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s your common sense leaving your body.


♦ Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

♦ My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.

♦ I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.

♦ Money talks ..but all mine ever says is good-bye.

♦ You're not fat, you're just... easier to see.

♦ If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

♦ I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do they just give you a bra and say, “Here, fill this out?”

♦ My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I’m pretty sure she was hitting on me.

♦ Denny’s has a slogan, “If it’s your birthday, the meal is on us.” If you’re in Denny’s and it’s your birthday, your life sucks!

♦ The pharmacist asked me my birth date again today. I’m pretty sure she’s going to get me something.

♦ The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can be in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.

♦ Money can’t buy happiness but it keeps the kids in touch!

♦ The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course, Opie were all single. The only married person was Otis, and he stayed drunk.



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Horus
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Re: The Philosopher

Post by Horus » Wed Sep 11, 2019 9:45 am

I once had my free breakfast in Denny's :lol: :lol:
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LovelyLadyLux
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Re: The Philosopher

Post by LovelyLadyLux » Wed Sep 11, 2019 4:12 pm

I went to a Denny's in Waikiki Hawaii probably 30+ years ago. Not too sure much has changed with it since then! ;)

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