The South
Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2018 10:02 pm
This is what a Southern friend likes about the South:
There is no magazine named
"Northern Living" for good reason. There ain't nobody interested in
moving up there, so nobody would buy the magazine!
Southerners know their summer
weather report:
Humidity
Humidity
Humidity
-------------------------
Southerners know their vacation spots:
The beach
The rivuh
The crick
--------
Southerners know everybody's first name:
Honey
Darlin'
Shugah
--------
Southerners know the movies that speak to their hearts:
Fried Green Tomatoes
Driving Miss Daisy
Steel Magnolias
Gone With The Wind
-----------
Southerners know their religions:
Bapdiss
Methdiss
Football
--------------
Southerners know their cities dripping with Southern charm:
Chawl'stn
S'vanah
Foat Wuth
N'awlins
Addlanna
---------------
Southerners know their elegant gentlemen:
Men in uniform
Men in tuxedos
Rhett Butler
-----------------
Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins:
Having bad hair and nails
Having bad manners
Cooking bad food
------
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a
conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them
___
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens,
peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
__
Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction
of "yonder."
___
Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, as in: "Going
to town, be back directly."
__
Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for
the white, granular, sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl
in the middle of the table.
__
All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use
the term, but they know the concept well.
__
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace
for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a
big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real
crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin'!
__
Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near"
and "a right far piece." They also know that"just down the road" can
be 1 mile or 20.
___
Only a Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a
redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
__
No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing
turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
__
A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
__
Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, and when we're
"in line,"we talk to everybody!
___
In the South, “y'all” is singular, "all y'all” is plural.
___
Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
__
Every Southerner knows that tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and
coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast
food; that scrambled eggs just ain’t right without Hot sauce, and that
fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
__
When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know
you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
__
Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea
indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea
unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
__
And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old
ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, “Bless her sweet
little heart".
____
To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your
Southernness: Take two sips of moonshine and a dose of sausage gravy
and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!
_____
And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all
this Southern stuff....bless your hearts, I hear they’re fixin' to
have classes on Southernness as a second language!
_____
Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fah-evah !
Now Shugah, send this to someone who was raised in the South or wish
they had a ‘been! If you're a Northern transplant, bless your heart,
fake it. We know you got here as fast as you could.
There is no magazine named
"Northern Living" for good reason. There ain't nobody interested in
moving up there, so nobody would buy the magazine!
Southerners know their summer
weather report:
Humidity
Humidity
Humidity
-------------------------
Southerners know their vacation spots:
The beach
The rivuh
The crick
--------
Southerners know everybody's first name:
Honey
Darlin'
Shugah
--------
Southerners know the movies that speak to their hearts:
Fried Green Tomatoes
Driving Miss Daisy
Steel Magnolias
Gone With The Wind
-----------
Southerners know their religions:
Bapdiss
Methdiss
Football
--------------
Southerners know their cities dripping with Southern charm:
Chawl'stn
S'vanah
Foat Wuth
N'awlins
Addlanna
---------------
Southerners know their elegant gentlemen:
Men in uniform
Men in tuxedos
Rhett Butler
-----------------
Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins:
Having bad hair and nails
Having bad manners
Cooking bad food
------
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a
conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them
___
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens,
peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
__
Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction
of "yonder."
___
Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, as in: "Going
to town, be back directly."
__
Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for
the white, granular, sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl
in the middle of the table.
__
All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use
the term, but they know the concept well.
__
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace
for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a
big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real
crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin'!
__
Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near"
and "a right far piece." They also know that"just down the road" can
be 1 mile or 20.
___
Only a Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a
redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
__
No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing
turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
__
A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
__
Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, and when we're
"in line,"we talk to everybody!
___
In the South, “y'all” is singular, "all y'all” is plural.
___
Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
__
Every Southerner knows that tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and
coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast
food; that scrambled eggs just ain’t right without Hot sauce, and that
fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
__
When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know
you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
__
Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea
indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea
unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
__
And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old
ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, “Bless her sweet
little heart".
____
To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your
Southernness: Take two sips of moonshine and a dose of sausage gravy
and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!
_____
And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all
this Southern stuff....bless your hearts, I hear they’re fixin' to
have classes on Southernness as a second language!
_____
Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fah-evah !
Now Shugah, send this to someone who was raised in the South or wish
they had a ‘been! If you're a Northern transplant, bless your heart,
fake it. We know you got here as fast as you could.
