Canadian Retirement Plan

[LovelyLadyLux]

Dear Mr. Harper, Trudeau, Mulcair


Please find below our suggestion for fixing Canada 's economy.


Instead of giving billions of dollars to corporations that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.

You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:


There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force. Pay them 1 million dollars each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:


1) They MUST retire.
Ten million job openings -unemployment fixed
2) They MUST buy a new car.
Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed
3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -
Housing Crisis fixed
4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university -
Crime rate fixed
5) They MUST buy $50 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week .....
And there's your money back in duty/tax etc.


It can't get any easier than that!


P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances


If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.


Also..
How about putting the very elderly pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home..

That way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks. They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc. and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.


They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance. Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.


A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell.


They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.


They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education.


Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request.


Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens.


Each senior could have a PC, a TV, radio and daily phone calls.


There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.


The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised. Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay $300.00 per week and with little hope of ever getting out.


More points of contention: [Think about this...]


COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Alberta years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the barn?


And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.
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Also;
Think about this .. If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone --
YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM!
It is time grumpy old folks of Canada spoke up!

[Horus]

Many a true word is spoken in jest

[Grandad]

On occasion those sort of statements actually seem to make sense. Could some of the problems of today be so easily resolved? It makes you think.

[Mad Dilys]

As usual I laughed out loud and as usual there was a thread of great truth running through the joke.

[LovelyLadyLux]

I remember the mad cow outbreak and honestly those blood hounds were able to track that 1 darn cow all the way back to the exact stall it was born in yet at other time we can't seem to find what is in front of our noses!