You'd be a Redneck IF -

[LovelyLadyLux]

1 You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
>
> 2 The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.
>
> 3 You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
>
> 4 You think a woman who is out of your league bowls on a different night.
>
> 5 You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
>
> 6 Someone in your family died right after saying, 'Hey, guys, watch this.'
>
> 7 You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
>
> 8 Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
>
> 9 Your junior prom offered day care.
>
> 10. You think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are 'Gentlemen, start your engines.'
>
> 11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
>
> 12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
>
> 13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
>
> 14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
>
> 15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
>
> 16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
>
> 17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
>
> And in closing....
>
> Two good ol' boys in a Alabama trailer park were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off work at the local Nissan plant.
>
> After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd, "If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday & make love to your wife while you was off huntin' and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?"
>
> The 2nd guy crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question.
>
> Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know about kin, but it would make us even!"
>

[Mad Dilys]

Marvellous!
My Grandson is 12 yrs old next week and has a wicked and very adult sense of humour. He is also a bit disappointed that there isn't much in the post for him - so I thought I would send him your jokes from time to time, he'll love them. Thank you for making the effort to put them on site, I enjoy them and share them frequently.

[Horus]

I used to love listening to Jeff Foxworthy who did all the 'Redneck' jokes
Heres a few more

You've ever bathed with flea and tick soap.

The dog catcher calls for a backup unit when visiting your house.

Someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle.

The dog can't watch you eat without gagging.

You have a hefty bag where the window of your car should be.

You have ever bar-b-qued Spam on the grill.

Your brother-in-law is also your uncle.

Going to the bathroom at night involves shoes and a flashlight.

Your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack

You have lost at least one tooth opening a beer bottle.

Jack Daniels makes your list of "most admired people".

Your dad walks you to school because you are both in the same grade.

Your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.

Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

When a sign that says "Say No To Crack!" reminds you to pull up your jeans.

[LovelyLadyLux]

I really like Jeff Foxworthy and enjoy his humour. My favourite of the first set was - You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

[Horus]

What about:
You are introduced to his wife and sister, but there is only one woman stood there!

[LovelyLadyLux]

This is black VERY NON-PC insider Canadian humour joke-wise (but it really isn't a joke rather a sad commentary of life) What is the most active day of the year on the Reserve? (Answer pending)

(**Trivia alert - here in Canada we refer to First Nations Indian areas of land designated as 'theirs' for them to live on as "Reserves" vs Americans call their Native American areas of land designated to live on as "Reservations")