A story of Cairo
Moderators: DJKeefy, 4u Network
...GET OUT OF MY FACE YOU LITTLE TROLL! Did you come from the Corniche in Luxor? Do you think you can dazzle me with your shiney bobbles and smooth talk? Now get out of my way! Welshstudent is on to something here. Some kind of mystery from the ages. Taking out her official issue Egyptlogist magnifying glass, Glyph leaned down to have a closer look at Welshstudent's discovery and saw...
"A man who has had a bull by the tail once has learned 60 or 70 times as much as a man who hasn't."
Mark Twain
Mark Twain
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...........strange hieroglyphs, unlike any she had ever seen before. Her head was in a spin, could this be a new discovery that would solve the mystery of the Pyramids? She quickly glanced around herself to ensure that Zahi was not about to steal her discovery, "gather around, I have something very important to tell you" she wispered. Her mouth was dry and she had to clear her throat several times before she could speak, as she did so Welshstudents head spun around "I didn't know you spoke Welsh" he said. "Enough to know that this strange Hieroglyph says, Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, which is a village in Anglesey in North Wales"...............................
Zahi's hat slipped over his eyes and as he pushed it back to look closer to the strange language ,Welsh Student shoved the heiroglyphic fragment up her jumper.
Aha! said Zahi, you are trying to steal a genuine ancient artifact from my country and take it to the infidel's in the British Museum!
Zahi snapped his fingers and Abdul his faithful flunky stepped forward and prostrated at his feet. 'What is it master?, what can I do to please you oh great Egyptologist one'?.........Zahi reached in his pocket and handed Abdul a...........
Aha! said Zahi, you are trying to steal a genuine ancient artifact from my country and take it to the infidel's in the British Museum!
Zahi snapped his fingers and Abdul his faithful flunky stepped forward and prostrated at his feet. 'What is it master?, what can I do to please you oh great Egyptologist one'?.........Zahi reached in his pocket and handed Abdul a...........
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.....digital camera to photograph the evidence. Welshstudent tried desperately to conceal the evidence under her blouse, but as the fragment contained every hieroglyph required to spell out the name
'Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch'
it was nearly 7 feet long, due to the fact that the pictograph for the letter 'L' was a large Leek and the letter 'O' was a Border Collie. Once again upon sighting her hero, Glyph prostrated herself at his feet "Forgive me oh mummified one" she wailed while secretly tying the laces of his shoes together. "Quick! into the Solar Boat Museum" cried Ebikatsu, "we can hide in there". PR and Fabby each grabbed one of Glyphs legs as she lay prostrated before the 'mighty one' and ran after the gang. They entered the museum at break neck speed, pausing only to put on the cotton overshoes, then dashing past the guard they polished their way up to the second level, looking down they saw...........
'Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch'
it was nearly 7 feet long, due to the fact that the pictograph for the letter 'L' was a large Leek and the letter 'O' was a Border Collie. Once again upon sighting her hero, Glyph prostrated herself at his feet "Forgive me oh mummified one" she wailed while secretly tying the laces of his shoes together. "Quick! into the Solar Boat Museum" cried Ebikatsu, "we can hide in there". PR and Fabby each grabbed one of Glyphs legs as she lay prostrated before the 'mighty one' and ran after the gang. They entered the museum at break neck speed, pausing only to put on the cotton overshoes, then dashing past the guard they polished their way up to the second level, looking down they saw...........
King Hosni followed by 3 green riot trucks and out of them spilled over 2,000 upper Egyptian Shurta swinging sugar canes in the air.
The King's slave Hany grappled with his ankles, to try to put the cotton covers on the kings feet, when Zahi pushed past the King knocking him flat on his face at the entrance to the Boat Museum. The shurta stood silently looking at his majesty sprawled out on the sand as Zahi...................
The King's slave Hany grappled with his ankles, to try to put the cotton covers on the kings feet, when Zahi pushed past the King knocking him flat on his face at the entrance to the Boat Museum. The shurta stood silently looking at his majesty sprawled out on the sand as Zahi...................
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........but then it all fell into place! as Glyph had spoken aloud the word Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, the 'Evil One' had mysteriously appeared. Obviously it was an incantation of some kind, written in stone to summon the eleventh plague of Egypt. The awful secret was out, Zahi Hawass was a really a Djin................
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Meanwhile, as events took many twists and turns in Cairo, back in an um-named location on the West Bank of Luxor, very close to the Collosi of Memon that looked strangely like an Alabaster factory, LisaK, Clandestino and Grandad were.........
Experience is not what happens to you;
it is what you do with what happens to you.
-Aldous Huxley
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................messing about with an old alabaster lamp that he had found on a dusty shelf at the back of the shop. As he rubbed away the dust he said "I wish that the rest of the gang were with us, we could all go to Sindbads for a cool drink" In a blinding flash the shop was full of people, Hepzi, Fabby, BBlux, Welshstudent, Ebikatsu, Glyph & PR, everyone was there except Horus! Then with a mighty crash Horus fell through the roof and landed on some old fakir who was feeding stone scarabs to turkeys so as to make them look like ancient artifacts. As the dust cleared he was sitting there, amongst the turkey poo, clutching a smoldering brown felt hat............
by now the group had no clue where they where or what would happen next. Over in the corner there was an old fakir throwing chunks of dry ice into a bucket of hot water for an even more frightening visual effect. Suddenly Zahi's smouldering hat began to emerge from the smoke of the dry ice. The old fakir was wafting a copy of Al Ahram wildly in the air to create more smoke and to direct it at the entrance.
The group terrified by now, clung to each other and followed the spinning, floating hat totally mesmerized into the Great Pyramid, following the hat up the inclne towards the great Kings Chamber. The hat dipped and bobbed and an eerie green glow encircling it began to pulsate........
The group terrified by now, clung to each other and followed the spinning, floating hat totally mesmerized into the Great Pyramid, following the hat up the inclne towards the great Kings Chamber. The hat dipped and bobbed and an eerie green glow encircling it began to pulsate........
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........... ***k, it was just an old felt hat that the fakir had thrown in to add to the tension and excitement. "Welcome to your worse nightmare" cried the old fakir as he pulled a lever that opened a concealed trapdoor in the floor, plunging the intrepid gang into the dark abyss. They found themselves half buried in sand at the bottom of a long sloping chute, fortunately for them, Goddess had a small cap lamp in her handbag that she used for climbing the dark stairwell to her apartment when the power was off. She pressed the switch and a dull orange glow illuminated the chamber they were stood in, suddenly an unearthly blood curdling sound could be heard emanating from the Stygian blackness of the passage...............
...the glow from the eery orange light revealed the blood curdling screaming was coming from Goddess who had just received an email on her cell phone telling her that DJKeefy had beaten her score in the game competition...
"A man who has had a bull by the tail once has learned 60 or 70 times as much as a man who hasn't."
Mark Twain
Mark Twain
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"Eeeeek!" "Ahhhhh" "Grrrrrrr" (or words to that effect which we cannot possibly print here) she bellowed loudly. "What's he doing playing internet games at a time like this?" Everyone looked on in disbelief and dismay. "Some super hero Mango Man is! " 'mumble, mutter, groan'........"Anyone would think he was wearing 'Numpty Pants' not 'Mango Trunks'! He's........" but before she could finish there was.....
Experience is not what happens to you;
it is what you do with what happens to you.
-Aldous Huxley
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...........another cry from Horus! "that's it! the Numpty Pants! do you have them on today?" he asked. "Of course I do" replied Goddess, "I never go out without them", It is at this point dear readers that we try to explain exactly what 'Numpty Pants' really are. In days of yore they were worn by the village idiot to denote that they really were 'the village idiot' and not some impostor. Try to visualise a pair of long legged pantaloons, each leg extending to just below the knee, tied with a coloured ribbon and made from very frilly material, not unlike the ones worn by 'Little Bo Peep' in the nursery rhyme and are usually worn under a pair of denim jeans or a long skirt.
"I see your plan" cried BBlux "we can make a rope from them and escape out of this trap" "it's a good job that I am also wearing my M&S Big Pants underneath them" she protested loudly. Luckily for the gang she had also taken to wearing these after watching the film 'Bridget Jones' on a DVD and considered them to be the height of fashion. The light was switched off for modesty purposes and very soon the Numpty Pants were handed over to BBlux who tied a rock to one leg and whirling them around his head by the other one like a Spanish bolas............
"I see your plan" cried BBlux "we can make a rope from them and escape out of this trap" "it's a good job that I am also wearing my M&S Big Pants underneath them" she protested loudly. Luckily for the gang she had also taken to wearing these after watching the film 'Bridget Jones' on a DVD and considered them to be the height of fashion. The light was switched off for modesty purposes and very soon the Numpty Pants were handed over to BBlux who tied a rock to one leg and whirling them around his head by the other one like a Spanish bolas............
...tossed them upwards towards the opening only to discover it was too far to throw. PRchick, who was finally glad to know what the heck numpty pants were, sighed heavily and said "Honestly, you Brits trying to get things done with a pair of Long Johns and Granny Panties." Turning her back to the group, which couldn't see in the dark anyway, she held up a brand new pair of Spanks. "Here, these have enough elastic in them to launch that rock to the moon." New technology in hand, BBlux...
"A man who has had a bull by the tail once has learned 60 or 70 times as much as a man who hasn't."
Mark Twain
Mark Twain
grappled with Ebikatsu who by now had put the Spanks on and was admiring how slimming they were and how they firmed up all her wobbly bits.
BBLux grabbed the legs as Ebikatsu hung on for dear life laying on the floor holding the waistband and crossing her legs so BBLux couldn't get them back.
Exhausted Ebikatsu let go and as she did so BBLux went flying backwards holding the Spanks into................
BBLux grabbed the legs as Ebikatsu hung on for dear life laying on the floor holding the waistband and crossing her legs so BBLux couldn't get them back.
Exhausted Ebikatsu let go and as she did so BBLux went flying backwards holding the Spanks into................
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