Smart Answers

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LovelyLadyLux
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Smart Answers

Post by LovelyLadyLux » Fri Mar 15, 2019 3:42 pm

> SMART ASS ANSWER #6
>
> It was mealtime during an airline flight.
> 'Would you like dinner?' , the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.
> 'What are my choices?' John asked.
> 'Yes or no,' she replied .
>
>
> SMART ASS ANSWER #5
>
> A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check
> tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and
> he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
> Without missing a beat, she said, 'Sir, I need to see your ticket, not
> your stub.'
>
>
> SMART ASS ANSWER #4
>
> A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but
> she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock
> boy, ' Do these turkeys get any bigger?'
> The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead...'
>
>
> SMART ASS ANSWER #3
>
> The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for
> speeding rolled down his window. 'I've been waiting for you all day,'
> the officer said.
> The kid replied, 'Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.'
> When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way
> without a ticket.
>
>
> SMART ASS ANSWER #2
>
> A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign
> that read: Low Bridge Ahead. Before he knows it, the bridge is right
> in front of him and his truck gets wedged under it. Cars are backed up
> for miles.
> Finally a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks
> to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck,
> huh?'
> The truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of gas.'
>
>
> SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR
>
> A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now
> class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.
>
> I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury,
> illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other
> excuses whatsoever!'
> A smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked,
> 'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete
> and utter sexual exhaustion?'
> The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence
> was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her
> head and sweetly said, 'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam
> with your other hand.'
>
>
>
>
>
> IMPOSSIBILITIES IN THE WORLD
>
>
>
> 1) You can't count your hair.
>
> 2) You can't wash your eyes with soap.
>
> 3) You can't breathe when your tongue is out.
>
> Put your tongue back in your mouth, sure you can still breathe, you fool.
>
> Ten (10) Things I know about you.
>
> 1) You are reading this.
>
> 2) You are human.
>
> 3) You can't say the letter ''P'' without separating your lips.
>
> 4) You just attempted to do it. You are an idiot!
>
> 6) You are laughing at yourself,
>
> 7) You have a smile on your face and you skipped No. 5.
>
> 8) You just checked to see if there is a No. 5.
>
> 9) You laugh at this because you are a fun loving person & everyone does it too.
>
> 10) You are probably going to send this to see who else falls for it.
>
> You have received this e-mail because I didn't want to be alone in the
> idiot fool category.
> "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many."
>
>
>
>
>
> $2.99 SPECIAL
> I love it............................ .....
> If you are a senior you will understand this one;
> if you deal with seniors, this should help you understand them
> a little better, and if you are not a senior yet........
> God willing, someday you will be.....
>
>
> The 2.99 Special
> We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the 'seniors' special' was
> two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $2.99.
> 'Sounds good,' my wife said. 'But I don't want the eggs..'
>
> 'Then, I'll have to charge you $3.49 because you're ordering a la carte,'
> the waitress warned her.
>
> 'You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?'
> my wife asked incredulously.
>
> 'YES!' stated the waitress..
> 'I'll take the special then,' my wife said..
>
> 'How do you want your eggs?' the waitress asked.
>
> 'Raw and in the shell,' my wife replied.
> She took the two eggs home and baked a cake.



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Re: Smart Answers

Post by Grandad » Sat Mar 16, 2019 10:15 am

:lol: :lol:
:gg:

Mad Dilys
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Re: Smart Answers

Post by Mad Dilys » Sun Mar 17, 2019 8:44 am

I shall send these to my grandson. :lol: :D :lol:
Smile! It confuses people

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Kiya
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Re: Smart Answers

Post by Kiya » Sun Mar 17, 2019 11:54 am

:lol: :lol:

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