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Old Age

Last post by LovelyLadyLux « Wed Nov 28, 2012 1:20 am

by LovelyLadyLux » Wed Nov 28, 2012 1:20 am

An old woman was asked,

At your ripe age, what would you prefer to get,

Parkinsons or Alzheimers?

The wise lady answered,

Definitely Parkinsons ~ better to spill half my

wine than to forget...

0 Replies

247 Views

Last post by LovelyLadyLux
Wed Nov 28, 2012 1:20 am
The Tiny House

Last post by Horus « Mon Nov 26, 2012 8:20 pm
Replies: 1
by LovelyLadyLux » Mon Nov 26, 2012 5:57 pm

First post

THE TINY CABIN

A social worker from a big City in Massachusetts recently transferred to Mountains of West Virginia and was on first tour of her new territory when she came upon the tiniest cabin...

Last post

:lol: :lol: that one made me smile. :D

1 Replies

299 Views

Last post by Horus
Mon Nov 26, 2012 8:20 pm
Tender and Endearing Christmas Moment

Last post by Kiya « Tue Nov 20, 2012 11:22 am
Replies: 2
by LovelyLadyLux » Mon Nov 19, 2012 2:14 am

First post

A husband and wife were shopping at the mall on Christmas Eve and the mall was packed. As the wife walked through the mall she was surprised to look up and see her husband was nowhere around. She was...

Last post

:lol: :lol:

2 Replies

448 Views

Last post by Kiya
Tue Nov 20, 2012 11:22 am
Funeral Expenses

Last post by LovelyLadyLux « Thu Nov 15, 2012 5:14 pm

by LovelyLadyLux » Thu Nov 15, 2012 5:14 pm

A MAN AND HIS EVER-NAGGING WIFE WENT ON VACATION IN JERUSALEM .
WHILE THEY WERE THERE, THE WIFE PASSED AWAY.
THE UNDERTAKER TOLD THE HUSBAND,
YOU CAN HAVE HER BURIED HERE IN THE HOLY LAND FOR...

0 Replies

331 Views

Last post by LovelyLadyLux
Thu Nov 15, 2012 5:14 pm
Dumb and Dumber

Last post by LovelyLadyLux « Sun Nov 04, 2012 8:45 pm
Replies: 2
by LovelyLadyLux » Sun Nov 04, 2012 5:35 pm

First post

This clip is from an American TV show called Judge Judy which is a reality type TV show where real life court cases are put on TV. Judge Judy is a real judge, her show gets high day time ratings....

Last post

I watch Judge J mostly in TV Commercials as they pass. I've seen her show a few times though and it is actually amazing those who walk among us .....scarey actually!

2 Replies

304 Views

Last post by LovelyLadyLux
Sun Nov 04, 2012 8:45 pm
Elderly Italian Gentleman

Last post by Phantom « Fri Oct 12, 2012 2:37 pm
Replies: 3
by LovelyLadyLux » Fri Oct 12, 2012 4:11 am

First post

AN ELDERLY ITALIAN, CATHOLIC GENTLEMAN

An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini, Italy,
went to the local church for confession. When the priest slid open the
panel in the...

Last post

:D :D :D

3 Replies

516 Views

Last post by Phantom
Fri Oct 12, 2012 2:37 pm
Cute things kids say

Last post by LovelyLadyLux « Thu Oct 11, 2012 6:05 am

by LovelyLadyLux » Thu Oct 11, 2012 6:05 am

Kids say the cutest things......

I was reminicing with my (then) 7 year old daughter about a vacation we had taken to New Hampshire. I was saying things like, Don't you remember seeing this? or...

0 Replies

396 Views

Last post by LovelyLadyLux
Thu Oct 11, 2012 6:05 am
One More ~ And then the fight started...............

Last post by LovelyLadyLux « Thu Oct 11, 2012 2:25 am
Replies: 5
by Karenh » Wed Jan 14, 2009 1:39 pm

First post

And then the fight started.... >
****
My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, Do you want to have sex?
No, she answered.
I then...

Last post

Some of these are cute and go 'round and 'round......... :) :) :)

5 Replies

1223 Views

Last post by LovelyLadyLux
Thu Oct 11, 2012 2:25 am
Natal Curry Contest - Can you relate?

Last post by Phantom « Fri Oct 05, 2012 1:34 pm
Replies: 1
by LovelyLadyLux » Thu Oct 04, 2012 9:47 pm

First post

f you can read this whole story without laughing then there's no hope for you. I was crying by the end.......

NOTE:

Please take time to read this excerpt slowly.

If you pay attention to the...

Last post

:lol: :lol: :lol:

1 Replies

400 Views

Last post by Phantom
Fri Oct 05, 2012 1:34 pm
UK Weather

Last post by Horus « Mon Oct 01, 2012 11:59 am
Replies: 3
by LovelyLadyLux » Mon Oct 01, 2012 12:25 am

First post

Weather forecast

The Archbishop of Canterbury and The Royal Commission for Political Correctness announced today that the climate in the UK should no longer be referred to as English Weather....

Last post

:lol: :lol: naughty but very true :lol:

3 Replies

615 Views

Last post by Horus
Mon Oct 01, 2012 11:59 am
My Birthday Day - (from our Jayway)

Last post by LovelyLadyLux « Sun Sep 30, 2012 8:31 pm
Replies: 6
by LovelyLadyLux » Sun Sep 30, 2012 7:27 pm

First post

> Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning.
>
> I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my husband would be pleasant
> and say, 'Happy Birthday!', and possibly...

Last post

Well - going out with a stranger IS kinda my style but I've never been so lucky as to have a complete stranger invite me to their home for tea and then strip off for me...........I'm never lucky like...

6 Replies

751 Views

Last post by LovelyLadyLux
Sun Sep 30, 2012 8:31 pm
Anyone for 4 husbands?

Last post by LovelyLadyLux « Sun Sep 30, 2012 5:11 pm
Replies: 4
by Scottishtourist » Sun Sep 30, 2012 2:36 am

First post

Here's question for the ladies.
In discussions with my (married)friends in Luxor,the subject of a Muslim man being allowed to take 4 wives often comes up in conversation.
The men seem to be all in...

Last post

I've often read that Arab men when in the courting stage often refer to their prospective wives as their Queen - well - personally I'd take that very literally and 'for sure' they'd get one. I highly...

4 Replies

432 Views

Last post by LovelyLadyLux
Sun Sep 30, 2012 5:11 pm
Seniors Fire Alarm

Last post by LovelyLadyLux « Sat Sep 29, 2012 10:11 pm

by LovelyLadyLux » Sat Sep 29, 2012 10:11 pm

I failed a Health and Safety course at the Senior Center today.

One of the questions was:

In the event of a fire, what steps would you take?

F*cking' big ones was apparently the wrong...

0 Replies

395 Views

Last post by LovelyLadyLux
Sat Sep 29, 2012 10:11 pm
Save Gas - Ride a Horse (from our Jayway)

Last post by Horus « Fri Sep 28, 2012 10:00 am
Replies: 5
by LovelyLadyLux » Wed Sep 26, 2012 5:47 am

First post

SAVE GAS - RIDE A HORSE!
Author Unknown

HONEST HARRY'S NEW & USED HORSES
I can save you money on gas!

Alright folks, step right up! You don't want to pay $4.69 for gas, no problem, I have the...

Last post

The UN is a joke and a talking shop and it always has been, just another waste of money and materials that we should get out of, united nations? you must be joking!
The only thing we should bother...

5 Replies

655 Views

Last post by Horus
Fri Sep 28, 2012 10:00 am
Ultimate Ethnic Joke

Last post by Horus « Sun Sep 23, 2012 10:47 pm
Replies: 3
by LovelyLadyLux » Sun Sep 23, 2012 6:21 pm

First post

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak,...

Last post

:lol: :lol: nice one LLL and don't worry about the GIMP, plenty of time we will just take it slow and learn together.

3 Replies

446 Views

Last post by Horus
Sun Sep 23, 2012 10:47 pm
I'm sorry

Last post by DJKeefy « Sat Sep 22, 2012 11:29 pm
Replies: 3
by Horus » Sat Sep 22, 2012 9:33 pm

First post

:lol: :lol: just found this video of Nick Cleggs apology set to music and for anyone who does not know he is our UK deputy Prime Minister.

Last post

I love auto-tune video's :D

Ive got an app on my phone where you just speak into the mike (anything you want) after you have finished click play and it turns it into a song... great!!! :lol:

3 Replies

340 Views

Last post by DJKeefy
Sat Sep 22, 2012 11:29 pm
Senior Dating (from our Jayway)

Last post by Scottishtourist « Sat Sep 22, 2012 12:04 am
Replies: 2
by LovelyLadyLux » Fri Sep 21, 2012 10:58 pm

First post

They met at the singles club meeting and discovered over time that they enjoyed each other's company.
After several weeks of meeting for coffee, Claude asked Maude out for dinner and, much to his...

Last post

Singles clubs?
Anyone ever been to one?
I was hoodwinked one evening by a workmate!Thought I could just attend as guest. Unbeknown to me,once I arrived,I had to register as member and pay £8 for...

2 Replies

547 Views

Last post by Scottishtourist
Sat Sep 22, 2012 12:04 am
Making IT Stiff

Last post by LovelyLadyLux « Fri Sep 21, 2012 10:30 pm
Replies: 3
by LovelyLadyLux » Fri Sep 21, 2012 9:59 pm

First post

MAKING IT STIFF!

To make it Stand,
You Wet it !
To make it Wet,
You Suck it !
To make it Stiff,
You Lick it !
To Get It In,
You Push it!

Damn!!!!

Threading a Needle when you're AN OLD FART is a...

Last post

Good one! :))) Rhubarb!!! :)))

3 Replies

680 Views

Last post by LovelyLadyLux
Fri Sep 21, 2012 10:30 pm
Only In Egypt (Mixture)

Last post by Horus « Fri Sep 21, 2012 3:56 pm
Replies: 13
by DJKeefy » Thu Sep 20, 2012 12:22 am

13 Replies

1376 Views

Last post by Horus
Fri Sep 21, 2012 3:56 pm
The Veterinarian

Last post by Ruby Slippers « Wed Sep 19, 2012 2:24 pm
Replies: 2
by LovelyLadyLux » Tue Sep 18, 2012 7:22 pm

First post

The Veterinarian

One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly
offering, the Pastor of a small church found a pink
envelope containing $1,000. It happened again the
next week!

The following...

Last post

Nor me! :up

2 Replies

312 Views

Last post by Ruby Slippers
Wed Sep 19, 2012 2:24 pm

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